Day 15&16 - WAVE of LIGHT/Balloon Release

Day 15&16 - Wave of Light/Balloon Release #captureyourgrief:
Yesterday was October 15th. May seem like a average day, but to moms like me the day is VERY special. It is National pregnancy/infant Loss Remembrance Day. Of course we always remember our babies goon too soon every day, but having a day set aside where we can come together as a community to remember is extra special. So last night we came together. We brought mementoes
of our babies to share, we lit candles in their memory as we spoke their names, and we released balloons. ~Evin Gabriel, you will always be loved...never forgotten...carried forever in my heart! Your memory and the life you lived, lives on through me. Until we meet again, Rest in hope my little man.~

Day 14 - Community

Day 14 - Community #captureyourgrief:
Every October 15th our community comes together to remember our babies born/left to soon. We light candles, bring photos and other things from our babies to share, have a balloon release, but most of all we came together to Remember and to Share! It is a very special time. This is a photo I took last year of the balloon release. It is a hard community to be a part of, but I am blessed to be part of such a wonderful one!

Day 13 - Signs

Day 13 - Signs #captureyourgrief:
Every spring I am reminded of new life and a new beginning, Beauty beginning again from something seemingly gone. In the springtime I am reminded that someday this world will be made a new place, a place of everlasting beauty! There will be new life forever more, and I will be reunited with my baby! I think spring is God's promise to us. SPRING IS COMING!

I also want to add a song to this post :) **Steven Curtis Chapman, "Spring is Coming"**

Day 12 - Reminder (Scents)

Day 12 - Reminder (Scents) #captureyourgrief
I do not have a scent that reminds me of Evin, so I'm just doing something that reminds me of him. Soon after we lost him, I found this plaque and thought it was really special. I hung it in the "baby room" (the room we were getting ready for him). To me it was a reminder that he was here. It still hangs in the room that is now the "baby room" for my Rainbow baby Brayden. Every time I see it I am reminded of Evin.

Day 11 - Supportive Friends/Family

Day 11 - Supportive Friends/Family #captureyourgrief:
I have been blessed to have so many supportive family and fiends!
FAMILY:
My Husband: He was always there for me whenever I needed him. He took extra time off work so that I would not have to be alone at home, He would hold me when I cried, and always listen to me even when I might have sounded a little crazy :) They say that the hardest times in your life either make or break you... and I have to say that this, as hard as it has been, has made our relationship so much stronger! We have learned that no matter what through the good and the bad how to be there for each other! I love you SO much! Thank you for your constant love and support!

My Sister: She has always been the person I know I can talk to about ANYTHING and she would listen and understand. She was not afraid to to talk about Evin and I love that! I always enjoy hearing his name. Her dorm room was a safe place I could escape to if I needed to get out of the house. And I'm glad she was close by. Thanks for always being there for me! I love and miss you SO much!

My Mother: As soon as she heard that Evin had passed away she had her bags packed and was ready to make the 2 1/2 hour drive down without hesitation! Having my mom here while I had to go through labor for the first time and deliver Evin helped me feel more at ease. She held my hand and brought calm in the midst of tragedy. And after it all I always know she was just a phone call away. Thank you SO much for always being there for me! For helping me through one of the hardest times of my life and being there with me. I could never thank you enough! I know it must have been hard on you too, and yet you stayed strong for me. I love you!

FRIENDS:
To all my wonderful friends! I have so many wonderful and supportive friends I can't list them all (but you all know who you are)! They were always there to listen, bring me food and flowers, and come and sit with me during the day when Devin had to go back to work so that I would not have to be alone.  I also have friends I have met through loss and they have been such a wonderful support group! You guys have been my rock and I can't thank you enough!!! Thanks for being there for me when I needed my friends the most! Love you all!

Day 10 - Symbol

Day 10 - Symbol #captureyourgrief:
When I see a duckling it makes me think of Evin. The first ultrasound picture we got of him at 6 1/2 weeks I thought he looked like a little duck and I use to call him my little "ducky" :) The first thing I bought for him was a soft white blanket with a little duck on it (the one in the picture). After we lost him someone knit a little stuffed duck for him and when I got his weighted pillow in the mail  ...  it had ducks on it!!!

Day 9 - Special Place

Day 9 - Special Place #ccaptureyourgrief:
Evin's special spot in the Memorial Garden. I love going to visit, its so beautiful and I feel such peace being there. 

Day 8 - Jewelry

Day 8 - Jewelry #captureyourgrief:
"Little footprints leave BIG imprints on my heart."

Day 7 - What TO Say...

Day 7 - What To Say #captureyourgrief:

Day 6 - What NOT To Say...

Day 6 - What Not To Say #captureyourgrief:
A couple things that were said to me (in good intention) but that could be hurtful to a grieving mother.

Day 5 - Memorial...

Day 5 - Memorial #captureyourgrief:
My car window decal and pendant hanging from my car mirror. These are two of my favorite mementoes of Evin. With me wherever I go.

Planting Flowers, Brayden Visits Evin's Garden...

I took Brayden for the first time yesterday to visit Evin's special place. Of course he had no idea what was going on but it was very special for me to bring him there. We planted flowers, played in the leaves, sang a song and tried not to be lunch for the mosquitoes! We had a wonderful time, and I always feel better afterwards knowing his place is still nice. :)

Day 4 - Most Treasured Item...

Day 4 - Most Treasured Item #captureyourgrief: Evin's footprints and his hat and blanket. My ring (size 7) so you can see how small and yet sooo perfect his little feet were!

 

Day 3 - After loss...

Day 3 - After loss Photo #captureyourgrief : There are so many emotions in this picture! **3/26/12 me holding my Rainbow baby for the first time** I remember just staring at him, trying to see any glimpse of his brother in him. So happy to finally have my Rainbow, yet so sad that my boys would never get to grow up together. That was a very emotional moment for me.

Day 2 - Before Loss...

Day 2 Before Loss Photo #captureyourgrief
This photo was taken the day before we found out our little man was gone. I was 20 weeks here and loved my little bump! Being pregnant was my dream come true! Its hard to look back on this picture and know he was already gone. I don't feel like that same person anymore!

Day 1 - Sunrise...

Day 1. Sunrise Myrtle Beach SC #captureyourgrief
I love the sunrise! Its always a promise of a new beginning. Today I will live my life to the fullest and bring Evin right along with me forever in my heart.